and you said cock pushups were impossible
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
