too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
