You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
