A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
