I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
