I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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