You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
