fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
