YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
