things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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