Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I want to be your penis for a week.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
