he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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