But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
