Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
