Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
