i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
