What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
