The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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