I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
