She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
