I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
