I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize