In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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