I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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