please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
