It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize