He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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