she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
