All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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