i'm signing you up for texting rehab
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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