and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
