First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
