My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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