I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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