hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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