batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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