whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
