STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
