Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I want her autograph on my taint
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
