Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
