Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
