No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
