I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
only if we run a train.
done.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
