I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
So apparently I’m into choking now
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
