went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i believe in u and ur pee
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize