he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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