I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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