is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
