when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Randomize
