There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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