so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
