how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
