yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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