Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
