so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
