ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
