last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
