So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
