I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
vagina is talking i cant
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
you never un-have a 4some
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
