we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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